Disappear from this earth

Last time, she went to my house.
She said i've been changed a lot
i asked her how i change
she listed down a few.
It seem like a secret for me now.
I still remember when i tell her,
i hold my tear
coz i was telling the stories to her
the stories that i should tell ,
but due to some reasons i din tell to anyone.
dun worry, it isnt a big matter
at least im still alive now.

Actually i din change
i just put down the mask, be worn for so many years
i still weak
still breakable
still being played by anyone i care
i've been positive, negative, super positive and super negative
these emotions are repeating always and always
am i should change?
am i expected too high to friend i met?

i learned
Let thing go
am i really feel pleasure and comfort ?
i know it take time
but every time
when that similar event happen
the bad memories come agn to me
last time was lucky
i have someone to tell
but then now
i dun really know who should i tell?
why i wanna tell?
what will happen after i tell?
Nothing change
So i will keep it deeper-ly in my heart
if u still rmb my stories,
u will know it
if not,
let it disappear from this earth